Nano and death and things

Well it’s november so that means National Novel Writing Month. And I am taking part, but the universe wants to make it hard for me! I have my mother visiting in a week, which will make it hard to write, and then just as I start my new project I learn that a friend has died.

I’d known Nathalie for more than a decade. We met on and friended each other on live journal and then facebook. We would chat, on and off, leave comments for each other, mostly about cats. Her cat, Hades, had a brain tumour and his personality changed. He died a few months back and she got a new kitten. When my meg was sick I remember her telling me that I should be there if the vets had to put her down,, that meg would need me. I disagreed, saying Meg wouldn’t notice and it would be too hard for me. But when I picked up meg after she had stayed at the vets for a few days, and she was so happy to see me and purring I realised Nathalie was right. meg would want me there at the end. But I never got to tell her that. And now she’s gone. Died in her sleep suddenly. It happens and it’s scarey and weird when you hear of it, of someone going to bed full of hopes and plans for the next day, for halloween, for xmas for watching their cat and daughter grow, and having it all taken from her in one moment.

So now I’m crying as I write this, as i try to write the Forest of Ghosts. I have a craft fair this weekend, a thing the weekend after. Real life getting in the way, as it will because it goes on, even without Nathalie.

And I just wish I had realised earlier how much a part of my life she was. Even if it was just the internet life.

I’m going to miss her.

But somehow I have to try and write. And try and put her into my book, because a book about cats and ghosts should have one more of each in it. If i can.

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