New year, same problems.

Well it’s a new year. I had hoped to finish the Children of the Shadow by now, but I’m still struggling with it. Writing is hard. I know what is wrong with it, but not how to fix it. It all concerns the gods, the dark gods, the demons. Working out their nature, and how their worship would follow is surprisingly difficult. Are they all ‘evil?’ Do they all inspire fear? Spirits of nature, that means they have a light side too, right? Nature is, after all, dangerous, but also the source of life. So, how would their festivals be? What form would their worship take? Working it out is actually rather difficult. So i’m not! I’m leaving it alone for the moment and finishing off a faerie story for the collection. Of course, they also have their problems. Many faeries had a penchant for children, they are offered up as a tithe for the devil, they are eaten by water creatures, or drowned. But I’m not sure how well a book of faeries killing children would go down! So I’m trying to come up with alternatives, but still remain true to some of the original aspects of the faerie myth. I’m also trying to have a mix, stories from the faerie’s point of view, stories from the point of view of those who encounter them, and stories that have happy, and sad endings. But so far I only have three, and two of them end rather badly! But I want to get another 4 together, so hopefully i can still find that balance.

So this is where i am. New year, new start, old problems on old projects.

Pain and a beginning

Well i have  a trapped nerve, and as of yet, still no books, so I can’t do a panel at Bristol Con after all, though i will still do a reading. Hurts too much to sit still for too long and I’m not inspired enough to give a book justice or put other books down as they deserve! So that’s a shame and a pain, rather literally.But hopefully i can put the pain to good use in some written way . . .

Anyway, still having some trouble getting the ritual/festival part of book 3 sorted. So i fiddled with the start instead. And as I’ve never shared the beginning, here it is, the beginning of book 3, Children of the Shadow. No real spoilers i think for book 2, so you’re all right to read it :)

THE ROAD TO THE MOUNTAINS

The ground below me was always hard. Sometimes it was rough and would rumble along, rocking my body from side to side, with the occasion sudden jolt that would make my head thump on the ground before jarring my entire body. Always there was the sound of thunder, with the ground moving. A distant rumble that sounded beneath my head. Something heavy lay over me all of the time, smelling of animals. At times I felt like I was suffocating, drowning in that rich, musty smell. But at others, when I heard the harsh voices, unfamiliar and terrifying, like the voices of giants, sounding near to me, then I would burrow into those heavy covers, wrap myself in the musty smell and hope that the voices didn’t come near to me. Nothing good ever happened when they came near to me.

At other times the ground was smooth, thick, but I could feel something beneath it that was uneven. Still that musty smell was with me, thick and heavy, covering me, pinning me down. Though my mind was fogged, heavy, my thoughts slipping and sliding away from me as I tried to shape them, a part of me had come to understand that this time, when the ground was smooth, was the dangerous time. The time when the owners of those voices would come to me, when they would hold me up and force something down my throat. Sometimes it was hot, sometimes it was cold, always liquid and always leaving me to feel as though I was drowning. Sometimes I would choke, cough, and try to move the heavy parts of me that I could vaguely feel attached somewhere. Once those parts had worked well, letting me move where I wanted, how I wanted. But now they just seemed to flail around, on the edge of my vision, useless heavy lumps that wouldn’t work at all.

Always these encounters ended the same way. A rough hand over my mouth, the smell of something sweet and heavy, which flowed through me, bring with it a darkness so total and complete it was as though I was dead.

Candale. Candale!” The voice in the blackness was strangely urgent and insistent and, with it, I was vaguely aware of a hand on my shoulder, shaking me, trying to stir me awake. But a part of me knew that being awake was loud and scary and it hurt. I rather stay in the darkness.

But then my body was moving beyond my control, the darkness rolling backwards, as I was pulled up to my feet and supported by two strong arms and, against my best efforts, the waking world slammed back around me.

Noise. A roar. It was all around me and it took a moment before I could separate the sounds, identify them as screams and shouts, the whiny of horses, the clash of metal against metal and pop and crackle of a fire. But I couldn’t understand them. It was usually so quiet, nothing but that familiar rumble or those harsh voices. Never this much noise, enough to make my, already, aching head want to split.

And then, as I was dragged forward, light and movement and smells joined the noise. Shadowy figures were moving all around us, the source of the shouts and screams, and swords glinted and reflected the dozens of fires that were burning all around us. The smoke was thick, it stung my eyes and set them to watering, and made it hard to breathe. I started to cough and the movement set a lance of white pain shooting through my already pounding skull. My vision was swallowed in a flurry of bright stars and spots and my legs collapsed beneath me. But I didn’t fall, the arms supporting me held me firm and continued to drag me through the roar of noise. Panic gripped me and I tried to pull free, to back away from the chaos all around me, but the arms held tight and continued to carry me on.

Wait . . .” I managed to gasp, despite my dry mouth and thick tongue and a brain heavy with fog.

We can’t,” said a male voice, the owner of the arms to my left. “We need to get you out of here, to safety.”

Safety. A magical word, one I had dreamed of, in the clearer moments of my captivity, one that meant freedom and warmth, my friends, my family, my home. Just hearing it made my legs feel weak and I nearly collapsed again this time from relief. Thankfully the arms were still there, holding me.

Sorry,” I whispered, and forced myself to focus, to scramble for the elusive words. “Drugged. Been drugged.”

It’s all right,” said the same man again. “We don’t have far to go.”

It might not have been far, but it certainly felt that way to my aching head and dead weight body. By the time we reached our destination, a group of horses standing still within earshot of the roar of sound coming from the camp, I was more dragged than walking. They had to lift me onto the back of a horse and, when the man who had spoken to me swung up in the saddle in front of me, I found it so difficult to keep my head upright that I pressed it to his lean back. For a moment I was still and the pain was eased, just a little, by that support.

And then the horse lurched into movement beneath me and we took off, galloping into the night. I tightened my grip, squeezed shut my eyes and prayed that I wouldn’t be sick.

Bristol Con, reading out loud and favourite books

Well Bristol Con is next saturday!!! And at this moment I still haven’t received my book order, so i have nothing to sell, which is a little worrying! I will be doing a reading from the Shadow Seer, and sitting on a panel to discuss my favourite book, also worrying! I have never done a reading before and it’s a scarey thought. What if people don’t like it? What if i pronounce my own characters names wrong and sound a tit? What if i read too fast? I have chosen what i hope is a dramatic bit, Candale’s attack in the Square Garden, and practiced to make sure that it’s the right length, but still, it’s all a bit scarey.

And my favourite book? It’s hard to narrow it down. There are lots in the, i enjoyed this but it’s just ok, pile, and a few in the, this was great I’m going to reread it lots, pile, but favourite? best of the best? That’s a lot harder. I’ve gone with Flesh and Spirit, by Carol Berg. First of the lighthouse duology. I’m rereading it for the fourth time maybe, and it’s something i can say a lot about. It has faeries, conspiracies, crazy people, magic, a world that is falling apart, and a hero who is rather likeable, fanciable even.Valen. A rogue, just looking for somewhere warm to stay for the winter, who ends up caught in all sorts of trouble. Berg is certainly one of my favourite writers, along with Lewis Carroll. Her world’s are varied, her characters are as well, although they all seem to be tortured, physically, in some way. And though there are a few books that i don’t care for particularly, the ones that i do like, I come back to time and again.

So, I’m sorted, other than the missing books, and working onwards with my own. Shaping a festival, including some mad prophets, but still looking for the right end . . .

October

Well it appears to be October. Most of the year is gone and Bristol Con is in two weeks (just under) I’m still waiting on book stock to appear, so that’s a little nerve wracking, but also facing the end of the year without anything finished, which is just depressing.

So, I have set myself the aim of finishing book 3, the Children of the Shadow, in rough, by the end of the year. That’s first rough draft. And to finish the whole thing, properly and fully, by my birthday in May. Sadly, this is a target i set myself for this year, and clearly didn’t meet, but I have more reason to do it, as ideas are forming for my new book and i can’t do that at all until this is done. Would also like to finish my short story collection by end of year, too.

So, there we are. Most of the Children of Shadow is done. The main bulk. I have gaps to fill, still, and an end to put on. The problem is, i keep fiddling with bits. At the moment I’m working on a festival. A festival i had done. A festival that could have waited until the whole thing was done. Perhaps i just don’t’ want to finish, really, because i worry about its standard, or because I’m not ready to leave Candale and his friends. I have been with them for 8 years, or so, so it will be a hard thing to leave. But Sylan, the hero of my new series, and his cats, have a tale (or tail) to tell as well. And I may have another story for Candale, in the future, I can’t rule it out, so it doesn’t have to be a goodbye.

Or so I tell myself. :)

Chester: future inspiration and some idea gathering

Just returned from a holiday in Chester with the parentals. It’s a gorgeous city, old buildings (tho not all medieval as they appear, some are Victorian) haunted, and with a roman amphitheater. there is also a zoo fairly near by. All in all, a great place and a fountain of inspiring ideas. The Forest of Ghosts will be featuring some of the gorgeous buildings, with their half timbered fronts, carvings, black framed windows and ‘the rows,’ a series of shops above shops, with outside streets to access them. It will also have a zoo, i think, although whether my hero, Sylan, will get to visit it, I’m not sure yet. Certainly i may use some of the ghost stories i heard on the ghost tour. I think that using real places, real things, and making them your own can make a book more vivid, more real, and means i can use photos to create a gallery of that world to help show what i mean.

Sitting on the train to Chester I managed to get a couple of ideas together for my faerie short story collection, which is what I’m working on at the moment, just to give me a break from Dale’s saga for a while. Currently I’m working on Seven Years, which is about the creation of a witch. But i have stories in mind featuring Jenny Greenteeth, and another with one of the hellhounds. We shall what will become of it.

Interview

Just found an interview with me that I don’t remember doing it (must have been ages ago) so here it is, if you’re interested.
 

Have had some thoughts on how to develop book 3 and so that’s what I’m working on, festivals, burning things and masks, all fun things, just a little difficult to get on with when the weather is so nice. it is Candale’s first time in the mountains, first time experiencing a wild, traditional sort of festival, I’m not sure how he will take it!
 

Next week I’m in Bristol, hopefully selling lots of copies of the Shadow Seer parts 1 and 2. I enjoy selling, meeting people, talking to people, but I hate leaving the cats and always fear that no one will buy anything. I’m there with my friend, fellow writer Joanna Hall, so hopefully the appeal of two writers, plus other books for sale, will attract people and their wallets.

Pens!

I am now the proud owner of 50 promotional purple pens (that’s some illiteration) with my name, website and book title on. They look fab, as you can see from this pic (One is modelled by mr kit

)

And here is a close up:

Snazzy :)

I’m working on book 3 at the moment. It’s been a while since I read it, as I’ve been working on book 2, so I’m going through it from the start to refresh my brain and fix the long sentences I had to work on with book 2. I hope to fill in the gaps and get it finished as well, while I go through it. Then onto new things!

Bristol Market and Pens

Have arranged to sell copies of my book at Bristol Market, as part of National Market Day, 28th June. I will be selling alongside fellow writer, Joanne Hall, and as well as our books we will have copies of other local writers to sell. All the details are on our facebook event: It doesn’t cost anything to look around, unlike Bristol Con, so I hope lots of people will come. I’m looking forward to it, I rather like selling and signing books, even though I can never think of anything witty. As part of it I have ordered some pens, with the book and website details on, I hope people will be less likely to throw them away and more likely to look up the book than they might with just a flyer or bookmark.

I have been working, slowly, on my faerie short story collection. Editing burned me out somewhat so I’m not getting very far with the latest short story about a girl, seduced by a faerie and taken back to the Faerie Kingdom. But I will get there and then it’s back to trying to finish off Children of the Shadow, the last in the Ellenessia’s Curse series, although I’m still not totally sure how I’m getting to the end!

Ten years ago

It was ten years ago when a good friend of mine, Alisa, had an asthma attack and died. She was 21. Her death hit me hard, though we weren’t as close then as we had been, we had both moved apart, she had been a good friend for a while, and always someone i was glad to have in my life. All my books are and will be dedicated to her, and my parents and grandparents, because I think it’s important to honour those who are alive, my parents, and have a big impact in your life, but to also remember the dead, and the impact they had as well.

Those ten years went so fast, it’s scary. I was working on the Shadow Seer then. The book itself was written quickly, but i was scared of sending it out, of being rejected, and worked to edit it for years instead. I finally did, but I’m still working on the series. I haven’t moved on from it yet. I haven’t done anything much with those ten years. At the time I created a page to Ailsa, with a guestbook, so I could forward the messages to her parents. One friend said how we should remember that life doesn’t begin tomorrow (words to that effect at least.) And she’s right. Life doesn’t. It’s now. So, ten years on, I have to get on with this. Writing is my dream. I have to finish editing, get the book out, finish the next one, and move on. Make it my life, my career, not just a half-assed hobby/career mix that it is at the moment. Learn from what happened to Ailsa, make the most of my life, live my dreams, but not forget her. Never that.

The nightmare of the “Ands”

I have to do another edit of book 2. Too many run on sentences still remain, avoiding my detection, to be removed now. I also have to remove “And” and hope to remove a few of my repetitions that bothered me during my first edit. How many times can Candale straighten his shoulders, or fall silent? Too many! But this is the problem when you write something a long time ago (two years ago the Seer’s Tower was finished) your thoughts and styles change and what didn’t bother you then, bothers you now! Thank god for find and replace though. It makes life a lot easier!
I also have to write a blurb. Blurbs are difficult. Summing up the story, without giving anything away, and making it seem interesting at the same time, it’s not fun. I’m not sure even where to start with this one . . .
My publisher has told me that Booksurge, who Amazon print with, and my publisher also, are going to be available in the UK. Currently they are just in the US and another printer is used for UK books. This will make life easier in terms of my ordering copies for conventions, and might even lower the price of the book, as it costs half as much in the US as it does here. So all good :)
I have also worked out the third short story for my faerie collection. “Seven years,” the tale of what happens when a girl is taken to Faerie as a consort of one of the fae, and then returned . . .
Now back to the edits!